Sometimes your dreams are just killed. Cruelly or after slow and long process they just wanish into pure air... It's not alway painful though.

There are comings and goings in everyone's life. There are times of arriving and times of leaving and the time between sometimes seem incredibly snel (fast), dreamlike and unreal. On the sunny day of our house party I went to het Bosje (nice park in Oostende) to sit on the same bench I used to sit last autumn after my arrival, painting, wondering about the many changes in my life. It was strangly familiar ambiance.
And on Monday I met Talita, the new volunteer of mu-zee-um. She's really different from me but she's really nice and I really hope she'll have great time, like the work, find a lot of wonderful friends and a second home in Belgium as I did.

So today my Mummytje en Grannytje left ook. Everything is happening so fast I just cannot process and keep up with the things. Ma'yah, I can and I try to keep going on but it'll be good to have some relaxation. So strange - I feel completely full and completely empty in the same time. I'm sad but happy about all the wonderful things that have happened to me. I feel tired but still have some energies and ambition to go on.

And maybe most of all I'd like to process somehow, to create, to live up all the inspiration and creative energies in myself.

Yeah, all the goodbyes I was just postponing till the very last moment. But once you just have to say them. But actually... They are just see you soons. The world is a small place, we can find each other if we really want to.

I always get so easily into the nostalgic, sentimental, emotional mood, sometimes I like to cry and let myself feel the generousity of self-pity but sometimes I don't like it at all. But now - I just cannot be like that since the story hasn't ended yet. As long as I live it keeps going on and then we can always see each other again, we just have to keep in contact, hear each others voice... And live in the present - because if we always wait for something oe someone we can get really easily disappointed by the encounter and miss a lot of wonderful things which are actually happening to and around us.  

Well, what happened to me? You know, when you least expect, when you don't care, just let things go and you're just yourself then.... - you fall in love. That's the thing exactly happened to me.